Computer Games..

To some parents, computer games are the 'worst enemies' .. they can't stop trying to get their kids away from the computer!!

Well.. my husband and I have been using a different approach, and so far, it has been working well.

To start with, we keep in mind that the game creators created games to be stress-relievers or hobbies to spend free time. So, we should not be stressed out by them. At the same time, we need to make our kids understand that games are not meant to be 'The Main Thing' in life either! However, without the right approach, we may be more afraid of the games, as the kids are more stressed out by our screams and shouts (which will lead them to play more games!)

If any of you want to try.. (for parents who have been 'anti-games' might take a while to change the 'war-zone' feel..)

Step 1: Parents Should Try Playing Computer Games
Before we shout around telling our kids to shut those games off, try playing a game or two that suits our style.. (something more relax eg. Big Kahuna Reef or Boggle). The purpose is to understand how our kids feel when they are playing their games.

Step 2: Watch While Our Kids Playing Their Games
For a few minutes (at least), we should try to watch while our kids playing their computer games. At the same time, ask them what the objectives of the games (how to win, what to do, the bonuses, the characters, etc.), and get the feel of what makes our kids excited in playing it. Once we understand the games, we will be more involved (feel the suspense, etc.)

Step 3: Figure Out The Best Time to Ask Our Kids To Pause Playing
When we understand the rhythm/phases of computer games, it will be easier to ask our kids to pause/stop playing (ask them to stop/pause during level change, pit stop, etc.)

Step 4: Make A Timetable
Once the kids understand that we understand their feelings and excitement, we can set up a timetable on when they can play their games, or even.. when we can play together! When this happens, computer games may be one alternative of family entertainment, especially when budget does not allow for traveling or dining out..

Our kids may feel strange seeing their 'anti-games' parents sitting in front of the computer trying to play computer games, but very soon, they will appreciate it and even get comfortable laughing at our 'funny' moves that repeatedly killing our characters in the game.

Before long, both sides (parents and kids) can see the games in the same way.. as leisure, entertainment and stress-reliever. Once this happens, kids' need for the way out of pressures from parents will be reduced, as their stress are almost completely relieved during the time they play their games and interacting in a relax situation with their parents (it may be one of the healthy times for kids to laugh at their parents!)

Games are created to be stress-relievers and entertainment. We should think of them as the game-creators do. So, we should use the games as stress-relievers (and not stress-triggers!). Once we successfully do this, we can teach our kids to do the same.

My 5-year-old tells me when he is tired of playing games, or when he just wants to watch me playing games, while he is trying to get some sleep. There are also times when he chooses to listen to music, or play the drum, or just running around with his little brother. The bottom line is that he knows that playing computer games is ONLY one out of many relaxing activities that he can choose from.. and NOT the only one..

I hope this can help any parents who are stressed out by computer games..