It is something that is very familiar for all kids around the world, and all parents always want to give something special for their kids on their kids birthday.. parties.. presents.. everything that comes to mind and wanted by the kids...
The way my parents brought me up (especially when I was little), made me think of something a little different to apply to my kids.. and I was touched.. very touched.. to see the result.
When my eldest son was turning 1, my mother suggested to take him to an orphanage and bring take away food to share with the kids there. I agreed right away.. we chose a close by 'home' which was owned and managed by a friend of my mother's. It was not a typical orphan home, but more like a afternoon activity centre (especially for Qur'an reading and basic religion teaching) for the kids. The orphans mostly were still living with their families/relatives, but their living and education costs were supported by sponsors.
Anyway.. we tried to explain to my son about the plan and he was excited.. and he was very very happy having his birthday with a lot of other kids and he enjoyed the feeling of sharing his favourite food with his new friends, although he received no present at all..
For his 2nd birthday, we were in Sultanate of Oman, during my husband's business contract, so we did not have the same chance of having a birthday party at the orphan home, but for his 3rd birthday, we were back in Indonesia, so we asked him if he wanted to do the same thing for his birthday, and he excitedly agreed!
Well.. that was not the end of it yet.. for his 4th birthday, it was his first year at school (pre-school), and all of his friends in the class were having birthday celebration at school, so I prepared his too (besides still planning to take him to the orphan's home again)..
After both the events took place (with success).. he showed that he was happier with the orphan home birthday.. By this time, he had the simple understanding that the kids at the orphan home were kids who no longer had parent/parents, and they lived with part of families/relatives and had to be supported by sponsors for living and education costs.
My son also understood that take away food (fast food) might be a simple thing for him, but for the kids he brought the food to, it was not something they could have anytime they wanted it..
The touching part was.. my son was actually shedding tears while he was giving the take away food boxes to the kids who kept smiling to him and patting his head.. I never thought that a 4-year-old could actually feel touched by an event like this! How very wrong I was!
Finally, for his 5th birthday.. (this happened to my surprise).. one month before his birthday, I asked him if he wanted me to prepare his birthday celebration at school.. he confidently refused! Then, I asked him if I should prepare his birthday at the orphan home, and he quickly agreed.. I asked him again two weeks before his birthday and his answer was still the same.. I asked him again a couple of days before his birthday and.. his answer was again.. the same.. (my parents actually offered to throw him a birthday party with his school friends at a fast food outlet that has a birthday area, and he also refused!)
So, this time, I explained to my son's teacher that he did not want to have a birthday at school and we were only going to go to a orphan home for his birthday.
It is amazing how things actually affect us when we are very young.. presents and birthday parties are something that we get our kids used to.. but it might not really be in our genes to start with.. When we can be touched when we are giving something to others (not only when we are being given something by others), that's when we have started creating a chain of care and love among human beings, and hopefully, we have provided a good beginning for our kids..
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